#I literally love this whole cast so much
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I finally finished Etrian Odyssey 4. I didnāt beat the Warped Savior but I did get to it. And oh my god. This has to be my favorite game in the series now. The dungeon design for the Hall of Darkness was genuinely fantastic, the first floor was just a fairly decent maze, but the second and third floors were probably peak EO dungeon design in my opinion. I didnāt even realize the gimmick of the second floor until I had mapped the entire dark room by trial and error, and I was getting frustrated until I finished the entire other side of the map and realized what was happening. I was so stunned that I didnāt notice what was happening from the first four rooms, but I think that realization made seeing the gimmick one last time on the final floor so worth it.
And the final floor basically taking all of your knowledge of mechanics from every other dungeon before it just felt so satisfyingāthe miasma room especially took every single bit of my understanding of the gameās mechanics to get through. And thatās not even getting into the fact that the boss is available as soon as you enter the floor, and the rest of the exploration is dedicated to figuring out the puzzle to weaken itļæ½ļæ½ even if I was way underleveled to actually kill the boss, I felt satisfied in my attempt to fight it and just see the transition to the last phase. Man, this was a good game. All the lore and everything that it built up, everything tying in to the story and fitting nicely into your motivationsā¦ I was actually attached to the cast by the end!!
Is this reaction probably because of how disappointed I was in EO5? Perhaps. But I know I still have EO3 to play, and I just bought it on steam, but Iām trying to keep my expectations tempered. Iām also planning to play EO1 HD with a few friends kind of DND style, let them make an oc out of whatever class they pick and let them control their build, equipment, and actions! Itāll probably be a bit slow but I think itāll be a nice way to spend time with some friends while also showing them one of my favorite games. Not to mention, itās been 7 years since I finished EO Untold, so I have no doubt itāll feel really nostalgic once I actually get into the game with them! :D
#Etrian Odyssey#sorry for the long post I just have so many thoughts. Iām so happy right now#literally so bubbly and I didnāt even take my medicine. this is what winning feels like#also I love you Kibagami. I replaced my Dancer with him right away and I swear itās because I like him Iām not just a furryā#also (story spoilers) the medium being so kind to Baldur at the end when they save him from the rubbleā¦ my heart#I literally love this whole cast so much#even the duke!!! I thought heād be boring but heās so neat!! I felt so bad for him when I did the quest to get his cuff links backā¦#some rich people are okay. he has so many rights#dang itās been so long since Iāve been so invested in something this is such a genuine good feeling
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By the way, did we ever talk about how stupid it is that they made Silco the reason Felicia died? I don't mean that he killed her personally, but that he jumpstarted violence on a peaceful protest. Because that's sooo who Silco is, right? A character who makes impulsive and poorly thought out decisions, right? A character who goes into a fight headstrong without carefully planning his moves and strategy and just YOLO-ing it, right? Right?? ......sigh
And don't even THINK about giving me the whole "wElL hE cHaNgEd SiNcE tHeN dUh" crap. Even s2 is smart enough to show us him writing something in a notebook in a flashback, which implies that he was the brains behind the Lanes' creation/revolution as a whole. And if he was he would never sabotage his own plans with something so stupid as throwing a single molotov at enforcers. Literally who does that???? Silco we know would probably organize an attack under the guise of a peaceful protest, but not just. Straight-up ruining just a regular peaceful protest. That's stupid. And Silco is the last character in arcane that would do something stupid. Literally the whole plot of season 1 relies on him being intelligent and sneaky with his plans are you kidding me.
#i mean. silco DID do something stupid. that being his attempt to kill vi and cait near the water tower#but i'll actually close my eyes on this one because writers just couldn't allow him to kill them because they're part of the main cast. but#if he wanted he would've killed them then#with the rifle cait gave to the pharmacist for example *twirls hair* yeah you get it#stop assassinating him for the love of god he's already dead#silco arcane#arcane critical#arcane season 2#arcane#also i remember a post comparing him to jinx like. they accidentally killed their family when they only wanted to help#but that doesn't work for several reasons. first is ofc silco's character as i wrote above. and not only he is a different character he's#much older too. jinx was what? 9? when she blew up the cannery. while silco was in his mid-late 20s. you don't think the same in this age a#a nine year old. second is the circumstances. jinx only built a bomb with whatever she had at her hands at the time because she needed to#act fast. otherwise silco would kill her entire family. silco on the other hand started the whole thing. it would make a little bit more#sense if he threw a molotov as a reaction to enforcers beating someone up/arresting someone but we don't have this implication iirc#so. please please please don't try to find reason in bad writing i literally lose my sanity
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Watching an interview with Taz and IƱaki and IƱaki was like 'I wonder what happens on Whole Cake Island between me and Taz š' AND I'M SITTING HERE LIKE
#Me; pointing: WHOLE CAKE ISLAND MENTION#INAKI DON'T TEASE ME LIKE THI#Taz was like 'I KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT OKAY'#HOMIE.#Anyway I haven't talked OPLA in a hot second but Taz and IƱaki's relationship makes me soooo.#They're just so supportive of each other and it makes me CRY#I love the OPLA cast so so much#They're all goobers#OPLA#One Piece#One Piece live action#INAKI IS LITERALLY SO SILLY HE IS THE LUFFY EVER#IƱaki Godoy#Taz Skylar#Shima speaks
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"Aw man, what are they gonna do with Shadow now that he got his closure with Maria's wish and everything? What sort of story can he possibly have after that?"
*points frantically at Sonic 06*
#one of the things that I really like about 06 when it comes to Shadow#is how they handle his story outside of his pre-established trauma#because believe it or not. life has other things going on#and Shadow's whole thing in that game was looking towards the future#he's no longer unsure of who he is. but now he has to stand his ground when someone else tries to cast doubt on him#the cool thing really is giving new meanings to his promise. his purpose.#he's still protecting humanity. he knows why and he's pretty secure of that. the question then becomes how and at what cost#the line ''if the world chooses to become my enemy I will fight like I always have''#is about being confident enough in himself and his friends even when odds are against them#because even if he has reason for revenge he doesn't want it anymore#I literally love 06 Shadow so much you don't understand what this bitch did to my brain#aaaanyways I'm forever grateful to Shadow Generations for finally properly teaching my boy to face his feelings#there is no shortage of possibilities when it comes to what they can do with him from now on#TEV Talk#Sonic the Hedgehog#Shadow the Hedgehog#Sonic x Shadow Generations
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WAOT WERE U THE ONE TSUKASA COSPLAYER AT MIKUEXPO GIVING OUT MIKU STICKERS TO THE PJSK FANS
THATS ME!!!!! i didn't mean to just give them to pjsk fans help but i severely underestimated how many i should've made and cut out .. so i just ended up giving them to cosplayers or people who said hi to me .... T_T
THERE'S ALSO THIS SUPER CUTE BRACELET SOMEBODY RAN UP TO ME AND GAVE ME AND I TREASURE IT SO I NEED TO ADD IT TO THE POST AND SHOW IT OFF .. WAH!!!! ITS SO CUTE LOOK!!!!!!
#again WAS NOT MY BIRTHDAY. MIKUEXPO TORONTO FELL ON TSUKASAS BIRTHDAY IN JAPAN TIME. SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.#i love your icon cause i saw a garf miku cosplayer at mikuexpo toronto too IT WAS SO AWESOME#i saw snother tsukasa cosplayer in hid school outfit and they had cute star glasses i Need some.#in the future n for cons i think i'll just order stickers to hand out .. cutting them out by hand was so much .....#especially when i did the whole pjsk cast. 10 or so of each of them. my best friend helped and it still took like 2 hours#<- I DID THAT FOR ANIME NORTH I MEAN i think i forgot to post about it here. anyways#i dont plan on tabling at cons or snything cause i just like attending them so much. but#In the future i think i'll just pay to get Nice little prints or stickers made and shipped to me to hand out ...#Sorry they arent actual stickers they're just laminated with tape i did them the night before while crunching for the con the week after.#alliellama#ask#sorry to go on but mikuexpo really was such a good time#when we first got there i was in the merch line w my friends and skmeone came up and said can you do the tsukasa laugh right here right now#but everything we said echo and i was like T_T no im shy ...#and then 2 hours later i heard there was a saki cosplayer there and started running around the venue shouting SAKI. SAKIII. SAKI.#WE FOUND HER IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS which is impressive because there were a lot of people. by god.#it was so fun. we had such a good time i could go on. everyone was so FREAKING NICE. AND GAVE SO MANY FREEBIES. AND COMPLIMENTS.#but i literally only had like ..30 mikus. to hand out. i felt SO BAD. CONSERVING THEM.
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This scene made me feel lots of things and draw parallels that probably don't exist.
#wolf's rain#wolf's rain fanart#kiba#cheza#wolf's rain kiba#wolf's rain cheza#I am literally the 'I've connected the dots' meme#I'm so insane about them#Kiba destined for greatness but at what cost#Cheza just awakened and thrust into so much responsibility and turmoil#I'm insane about the whole cast actually#I love them all so much pls can someone just give them a break
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looking back at the yjh webtoon screencaps i have saved and giggling... hes so cute... moe... my pookie ^___^ š„°š„° poor little meow meow woof woo- *eliminated where i stand*
also these poses are sooooo... źŗģģ
š¤š«£š«£š«£š«£
#talk tag#orv liveblog#<--gonna just tag my orv misc posts as this now#i looooove when the webtoon artist draws him like a demonic beast#its genuinely so moe to me smdbsndn like hes supposed to be rly handsome but theyre not afraid to make him look unhinged#i rmbr livetweeting that yjh hibernation pic captioned 'hes so moe'... apparently that was 2022(just dug it up)#more than 1 person has told me that theyre surprised i bias yjh from the webtoon alone#bc apparently they dont do his chara justice(v ššš to hear that...thats not good..)#BUT HOW COULD I NOT BIAS HIM!!!! (apparently this is not a universal experience aldjskdj)#this just makes me even more uncontrollably excited to read the novel i cant wait to love him more than i alr do#and i love when he glares and makes a disgusted face at kdj... its so cute š¤ he's like an angry black dog to me. hes like a wolf puppy#*tries to pat his head and gets cut down in .00001 sec... no he wouldnt waste his sword on me... i would simply perish from being in the#the presence of his aura#literally the tsundere ever#aside from hiei... hiei rly primed me to like male tsunderes guys#like after him i have loved sm tsundere male charas since#yjh is in a league of his own tho. like idc how many similar/near identical charas have come before or since#he OWNS the yjh archetype literally everyone else is just copying him <33#even if it was a choice btwn yjh and cedric id have to go w yjh... he is the original im sorry... i love u cedric#and i love that the whole point is that his design/chara archetype ISNT supposed to be original... thats the Point#he's the typical op dark haired stoic cold brooding (and sexy) protagonist...#his chara concept is supposed to be that trope... but what orv does w him is so subversive#and the fact that he is supplanted from his position as the protag in the narrative... i love it sooo much#like maybe i wouldnt care as much if he actually was the protag? bc again it wouldnt rly be new#but the fact that he isnt the actual protag is sooo good#IM NOT RLY SAYING OR ANALYZING ANYTHING RN BUT I JUST FELT LIKE YJH LOVEPOSTING#o sidenote his webtoon faces make great rxn images slfnsmd I LOVE USING THE FIRST ONE#i love using heartwrenching anime/comic moments out of context as rxn images its so funny to me#me @ the orv live action cast announcement
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the way the ericson group were at the outbreak just a bunch of troubled kids who made various mistakes or committed crimes and were judged by a system that punished and abandoned them instead of giving them the support and love they needed, are then nearly a decade later put into a situation where now they must judge a troubled child for the mistakes and crimes hes committed against them. and 5 to 3 vote them out š
#twdg#i love the way s4 connects back to lees whole 'murderer' thing back in s1 š guilt...atonement.....systems of punishment#i love thinking about s1>s4 themes and crying#anyway this is partially why i hate when i see the ericson cast reduced down to 'just some teens' its so much more than that#them being abandoned in a boarding school for troubled kids is SO IMPORTANT its not 'just some school'#anyway its also probably why theyre my favorite cast#theyre literally one of if not the most mature group of the series even while being a bunch of kids who make choices i dont agree with#because they actually love and care about each other. even when theyre mad. because theyre all they have left#i do think the vote was a fair way to handle it even tho i still ultimately find it cruel. they couldve talked it out#but this is still a story that needs conflict to resolve so is what it is#they would rather they leave than have to face their confused feelings. the most immature thing they do. but understandable#they did such a good job crafting that cast for clem GOD an entire ensemble built around her and aj....delicious#zombie/post apoc media about love and community my beloved š#sorry but get tf out of here with that 'humans are evil and everyone dies' lame ass bullshit we are nothing without community#the amount of love pouring out of s4 is like getting my ass kicked but then they give me a big hug and kiss after and send me on my way#s4 my absolute beloved i really love it more and more every time. so much to appreciate even with it the way it is#the themes bro the themes........ the connections between seasons 1 and 4 you are everything to me#it speaks
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when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~
#kimikawaii this week for sure!!!!!! (has been saying that since july)#ik the nghy payoff will be āØsweetāØ but itās kinda funny how hw are slowburning nagisaās role in the series as a whole#mans has a grand total of 3 songs to date and only 1 has a cv ver#place your bets what do you think will come first? nghy duet or ariken duet#t h o u g h. ariken is also kind of a slowburn but we all knew theyād get together since ijiwaru release (shoutout to the og miku ver)#some say that ariken is still not canon in the novels to this very day#canāt believe we got arisaās future career aspirations reveal before ariken canon in the novels smh#but i digress!!!!!!!!!!!! nagisa needs more action and attention!!!!!!#he did have kind of a āthe bus came backā moment with the izumo collab but we never saw his face again after that#(full cast merch doesnt count bc p. much everyoneās included in them except for the school nurse and kako)#so. all im saying is: slowburn nghy by all means. just dont slowburn nagisaās character arc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#now that mona mania has cooled off (to a degree) and chizusweep has mellowed out (somewhat) itās shiranamiās time to shine!!!!!!!!#y. yeah. ik itās harder to market him bc heās a literal average (albeit handsome) joe but thatās part of his charm!!!!!#i mean!!!!! he can cook!!!!! he stans ft4!!!!! heās devoted to the girl he loves!!!!!! heās a dreamboat!!!! what more could you ask for?#but. i do have to say that nghy developments have been kinda awkwardly handled as a wholeā¦ esp with heroine ikusei#i think nagisa shouldāve been introduced in heroiku or somethingā¦ since he was planned from the start of hiyoriās developmentā¦#maybe they were trying to pull a ā2nd love winsā kinda parallel with kthn? but the ascana retcon made everything awkward huhā¦#i think it couldāve worked out in the mv-verse. like if theyād placed heroika+sukiuso after the fight+make up in herotaru#so the timeline would go smoothly from heroiku -> herotaru -> heroika#with hiyo realising that sheād be better off focusing on work and track after the asuka debacle + chizu fight#like a āforget romance!!! i gotta work hard and run hard!!! omg wait nagisa wdym you love me???ā kinda thing#but the [redacted] anime p much cut + pasted the asuka arc with the nagisa visit and. hm.#is this just an excuse to blame the clumsy handling of the nghy arc on the [redacted] anime? mā¦ maybeā¦?#but it all still couldāve kinda worked out if theyād shifted the timelines around a little. yāknow. since sukiuso mv has nagisa visit in oct#idk i think having hiyo learn how to doll herself up from lxl for her first crush (asuka)#and then using what she learned to yassify herself to meet up with nagisa wouldāve been neater?#like a āhey look nagisa :) i applied what i learned from my pals :)ā kinda thing#or maybe chizu and juri couldāve helped her with the nagisa dressup scene post-herotaru fightā¦ but i digress!!!!!!#hmmmmmmmmmmā¦ well. this has gone way off topicā¦ anyways nghy canon and cute thatās all byeeee#the dude from gamushara
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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chat im really starting to fear that spiderman 4 wont have peter be nearly as sad as i need him to be. nothing at all has happened to indicate that but i just got a bad feeling. im almost completely expecting disappointment atp im just like mj fr
#sorry spideryapping again i cant help it. its in my brain again#saw on tiktok that black cat will be in it and my first reaction was NOOOOOOOOOOOOO bc i just love mj too much im not ready#but also black cat was at the top of my theories. bc it makes so much sense. so i SHOULD be optimistic if theyre thinking the way I think#like. it would cheapen the weight of the last movie if they completely undid the consequences. so they have to be apart for at least 1 movie#and mj and ned are supposed to be in boston at mit so idk how they could be in the plot anyways#and like. black cat makes so much sense bc the whole reason their relationship doesnt work is cuz she likes spiderman not peter#and thats so good for spiderman 4 bc now nobody remembers peter. and also black cat hasnt had any live action appearance yet#AND she comes on really strong so its literally the perfect setup for her#like. itd be weird if peter went looking for a love interest cuz he should be sad but it makes sense that black cat comes onto him#and he needs to meet a new cast beyond his high school friends it makes sense. but mj is endgame always im manifesting it she WILL be back#like black cat being there just suggests all the right directions. they arent immediately undoing the last movie#and theyre introducing more spiderman characters rather than spiderman villains and an obligatory mcu babysitter yk#SO ITS GOOD BUT. FEEL LIKE PURE SHIT JUST WANT MJ BACK#i wanna speed thru the necessary plot without mj to get back to her. mj my beloved#but slso besides all that even if black cat is a good sign. i still fear they wont make him sad enough. i fear the sadness will be offscreen#also i just think its rlly funny. that right when i got into spiderman again after YEARS#i was thinking abt more movies and was like. i think im happy if they stop. idek if i wanna see this peter without his buddies#his story moving forward has to be without them at least for a bit to do his character justice. but i dont need to see it#and then right after i settled on that opinion. BREAKING after 3 years new movie is coming. after i said i didnt want it#ironic (<- palpatine voice)#x
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i wanted to make a post about a thing but the more i think about it the more i want to say and it's just going to end up being a big ramble essay, so instead i'll just give the thesis statement, thusly:
as the #1 Ratgrinders Apologist (self-appointed), of course they're the final boss fight to the death. i expected nothing less and the people trying to make discourse about it are ignoring the entire context of this being a Dungeons and Dragons game
#they're not playing 'discuss our traumas and and try to help strangers grow: the game'#they're playing 'murder people for getting in our way: the game'#which i know is now me being snubbing about D&D as a game but like. siobhan said it: theyve committed SO much murder#did the lunch lady in episode 2 deserve to be murdered? did the skater dwarves deserved to be murdered?#did the monsters the school sicced on the kids in their Last Stand deserve to be slaughtered like that??#its literally the name of the game!#the two things that are turning this into a bigger essay are 1) me being actually very disappointed in Burrow's End with how the players#just did not want at all to engage with the moral greyness aabria was trying to bring into the story#it was clear that was a direction she wanted to explore and i wanted to see it explored#but even OUT of characters the cast just would NOT engage or acknowledge the validity of that direction#and there was only so much aabria could do without being labeled a killjoy... because D&D often ISN'T a game for reckoning with#the justification of your character's actions! its a game for killing giant bears and saving the town from cultists!!#baked into the foundation of the game conceit is 'you are the hero and you are saving the day ergo your actions are Right and Just'#thing 2) i just listened to that WWW fireside the other day where brennan goes on about how combat does not get in the way#of story in dnd. that whole stove metaphor? and it rankled me so much lol because like aabria finally says after that:#yeah you bring your own food to the stove but when what you've got is a stove. the food you make is GOING to get cooked#combat and fighting and killing is baked into the system from its foundation. acting like D&D or even just d20 (the system)#is a resolution engine that also allows fighting and not a fighting engine that also allows other skills is. wishful thinking i think#and to bring this back to the POINT: of COURSE they're going to kill the rat grinders! because it's fun!#because thats how you resolve conflict in a combat game! straight up i honestly believe a lengthy conversation trying to win the kids over#would have been a weird energy to end the season on! it would have been a let down!#it would have been a huge tonal shift. because the tone you bring to a D&D game is 'killing this is fine actually'#and if you dont like that you /dont/ play D&D. its not a value judgment#i LOVE getting into moral implications and justifications and ive gotta tone it down when i run D&D games because it can kill the vibe#anyway. i said i wasnt going to write the whole essay and im not. but i did write most of the rant oops
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so i saw this tweet and
I know what you are..
#IT'S LITERALLY HIM...#ash rambles š#mask off š#i woke up to some pretty awful sexuality discourse about another y.akuza character i ship with so the topic is on my mind#i hc pretty much all of my f/os as some flavor of queer and a good chunk of them are unlabeled also because i love the comfort of knowing#that not only are they Just Like Me but that they understand me because my refusal to label my queer identity is such a fundamental part#of my being myself and who i consider 'Ash' to be#but enough bitching about myself. unlabeled s.ugiura is so real šš½ he's a lot like me in which he's bi in practice but doesnt like calling#himself that. i think that for a long time he struggled with what to label himself so he just kinda ignored it and shoved it aside#it's when he's talking to ash one night about it and here's how she talks about herself that he goes#'HEY WAIT A MINUTE- i dont have to choose?? this feels good!'#also#i#come on#look at him#the whole cast of j.udgment even#NONE of them are straight#also i don't think s.ugiura is cis either but that's a chat for another day#this tweet just made me giggle though because that is. exactly his fit#I'm a big rainjacket over hoodie kinda gal myself#but I'm also from the pnw and that's what everyone around here wears lmao
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just actually watched the mavuika trailer and like im so..... bitter i could cry like get creative!!!!! you have something awesome here, for the first time i cared abt the cast of natlan in this trailer but you REFUSE to get creative and find a way to represent this in a way that fits the world
#why be so literal???? the band aspect feeds into the immersion obliterating things in natlan. find a way to represent it in a unique way#bc its actually totally doable bc of the song which was great#you cant say that this WAS the way to represent the camraderie in the story in a different metaphorical way#bc all of this stuff somehiw exists in the game so this is actually close enough to reality that it becomes laughable#they way the trailer is would actually be one of the best trailers in the whole game if in the game itself natlan made sense#i was actually very emotional in the trailer even tho i hate the character bc i loved the song so much i love the cinematic style#that REFRENCES a music video i actually finally felt attatched to the new cast for a brief beautiful moment#them all reaching for the flame transitioning to the fighting was so nice such a great feel of an overdramatic cheesy music video#that had enough genuinity that it was a touching scene#so much potential. ugh
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Regarding the previous post, I think the way I approach trying to evaluate a piece of art is asking "Do I think the positive things I get out of it outweigh the parts of it that I don't like?" And when I call something a "guilty pleasure" song/show/book/piece of media/etc. it's really more in the sense of, "Given who I am as a person, the flaws I've found in this should be complete dealbreakers for me, but somehow they aren't, and it makes me feel like I'm having an identity crisis."
#like. I think something like...idk shiki or cxgf excels on multiple levels. I understand why I like them. given the things I look for in art#it makes sense that these shows would speak to me because they make the effort to showcase those things I look for. because the people#in charge of those works clearly valued the same kinds of things and cared about seriously exploring them.#but with something like. uh. ctrlz. that is NOT the case and I frequently found myself going 'why would anyone make this writing#decision?' but I still sat through all 3 seasons of it! I still really enjoyed it! those flaws SHOULD have made me give up according to#personal history but they never did. and I very very much genuinely question why. I have NO IDEA why I still care about this#silly convoluted teen drama show so much. but I do. I wrote SO MANY FUCKING POSTS ABOUT IT.#I really love wicked the musical. I've heard many people call it 'hokey' or 'cheesy' or 'objectively bad' but here's the thing! I DON'T#think it's bad!!! like literally at all!!!!!! and it does do some genuinely cool things in regard to the music and the way the characters#develop and what the show says about the nature of prejudice and human connection. is it like. idk Seriousā¢ the way that something like#Parade is? no. but it doesn't have to be. it does what it sets out to do and it does it well and this is why the whole '''objective#evaluation''' thing doesn't actually mean anything. I value thoughtfully-constructed music and dynamic female characters#(which this musical has). I value stories that deal with the complex and messy feelings that come with being a human (which this musical#has). I value stories about 'other'ness and romantic subplots that aren't just built on 'This Girl Is Pretty' (which this musical has).#and I value professional displays of technical vocal ability because I know how fucking DIFFICULT that is (which this musical...if you cast#it well...has).#if you value something else in a musical then yeah you will probably think THIS one is '''objectively bad'''#if you don't see the point of musicals as an art form you will probably think wicked is '''objectively bad'''#do you see where the problem with categorizing analysis like this is??
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vent under the cut you don't need to read if you don't want to!!!!!!!
I honestly hateee opening up or oversharing with ppl. it's kind of like eating for me where it feels okay in the moment but then afterwards I just feel awful. it feels like I'm attention seeking or saying someone else's experience isn't valid for some reason and it sucks. I don't do it at all with ppl I just met but with friends I tend to get carried away with it sometimes,,,
It hurts even more because I've been distancing myself from ppl bcz I'm scared of this exact thing happening. People have messaged me before, saying I seem cool and they want to be friends. And I get happy in the moment, but then I get really anxious about accidentally getting too comfortable and blurting out personal things, because then their opinion of me will wane and they'll think I'm annoying or ungrateful. So I subconsciously begin to distance myself and take a while when responding to messages, because I'm scared of getting too comfortable with them. But now I'm anxious that they think I'm cold or distant and that I secretly don't like them. It's just a lose lose situation mannn </3
I have so many DMs I've put off responding to, and I've stopped talking in servers as much bcz I'm scared of getting close with ppl in them. I really feel bad for it, though. I've drifted from friends bcz of that and it sucks because I genuinely love them a lot. I love everyone I talk to a lot and they always make my day better--I just wish I could be the same for them. I feel like it's a chore to talk to me. I honestly don't know what to do. It's even worse when I get close to someone bcz they like what I make/post because again, now that they've seen how I really am and I've opened up, they more than likely see me as annoying or a bad person. Like it hurts enough whenever we become friends naturally talking, but if it's with someone who's seen me at my "best" and has seen things I work on or stories I've created, they ofc associate me with those things, and their expectations of me are through the roof. So when I disappoint them it hurts a lot more. I hate getting attached to people it hurts so much
#vent#it's okay tho.I think a hug would fix me. I want a hug so bad :(#probably delete later#tag ramblings below#AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY FRIENDS SO MUCH LIKE SO MUCH so it's even harder. like I feel like I don't deserve them#y'all deserve better than me#I WISH I COULD ADOPT THE IDGAF ATTITUDE#truly the best feeling in the world--realizing you don't care anymore#and idk how someone could possibly like me for things I created--it's not even like I write well or sing well#I honestly don't understand how ppl could see anything I've made or sung and genuinely like it#so whenever someone DOES I'm just like hasbdhabsn yay!!!!!!! and then I ruin it w my awful personality </3#it's also why I take down a lot of ao3 works#like I've made 50 something works but it only shows two because I've taken so many down or made them anonymous--I hate my work so much#but ppl like it enough to actively want to get to know me and it hurts bcz I feel like they're not THAT good#same thing with singing like I'm not good at it at all#but ppl used to rlly like my impressions of characters and I'd get cast in quite a bit of cover groups and I just don't understand.why???#but ofc I can't ask that bcz.idk it just feels attention seeking when I do that#like can you praise me a whole bunch so I don't feel like it's not totally awful please?#I appreciate the support I get so so much and it's not that it's not enough it's just my brain is mean </3#idek what this vent is abt#I think ultimately it's just abt my fear of disappointing ppl#I'm close with a few ppl who know me bcz of things I made--and I feel like I kinda ruined their impression of me a little (a lot)#especially bcz I didn't always used to vent this much. like back when I was 12-15 I literally refused to vent no matter how bad it got#and I had friends who vented every single day so it's not like I'd be the only one#I just feel like it's wrong when it's me :'D I feel like my feelings aren't valid ig and I'm ungrateful bcz my life rlly isn't that bad#I only started venting a lot this year for some reason--and it makes me feel bad bcz now my current friends have to deal with me like that#like I have a diary I write in and it works sometimes but ultimately it's better for someone else to give you validation#I hate venting so much though#(<- literally venting rn BAHSDBAS)#I'M SORRY if I've been venting too much. I feel like I've been venting too much.guys am sorry if this is annoying I promise I'm workin on i
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